One of the things that I get tired of hearing is the remarks about my child needing to be fixed/healed. I mean absolutely no disrespect to those who say those things, just remember if you’re not a parent with a special needs child, then you really don’t know what it’s like. My baby girl doesn’t need to go through life thinking she’s broken.
If you’re reading this, and you don’t have a child with special needs, how would you react if someone said your little one is broken, is not perfect?
When my first daughter was born, I remember thinking… “Wow, I made that, that is mine.”. And when my youngest was born the thought was no different. She is mine to teach, to train, to love. She isn’t broken, she is different. She sees the world a little clearer than we do, because she isn’t stuck in a lot of the details we get tangled up in. Things don’t get old to her, they’re always new. The same bubbles she laughed at yesterday will make her laugh today.
Sometimes I think we are the ones who are broken, we forget to laugh and to love unconditionally. We forget to ask “Why?”, and “What’s that?”. We are so consumed with impressing others that we forget that life should be simple.
If you’re reading this and you have a Special little one, remember they aren’t broken, needing to be fixed. Their needs are different for sure, but they aren’t broken. Of course, I’m sure that you have already realized this. It took us a little while for that realization to set in.
S was born in a little country (almost third world) without the medical aptitude to deal with or diagnose Special Needs. We got so much bad advice, that we began to feel that we had some how done something wrong. When we finally were able to get back to the USA and get into Johns Hopkins, it was a relief to find out that we were doing the right things all along and S was going to be just fine. The folks at the Kennedy Krieger Institute were awesome, and helped us to understand that S isn’t broken, she doesn’t need to be fixed, she just needs a little extra love and attention. We are so blessed to have her in our lives. I have found that she often teaches me what love really is.
To borrow a passage from the wisest book on earth, “Love never gives up, Love cares more for others than for self, Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have, Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first”, Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end”.
So please remember our little angels aren’t broken. They are teaching us a strength and a love we never knew we had in us, and we aren’t beaten, tired maybe, but never beaten. You can help us, not by suggesting ways to fix a problem that only exists in your mind, but by loving us enough to get to know and love the angel we have, for who and what they truly are. They. Are. Ours., forever and always!